Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Hampshire

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6156) - you deserved it (31216)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (1697)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (3358)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (3005)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. 20 minutes into the job, I was told 'Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go.' Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

#6208553
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (1593)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by FML (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37331) - you deserved it (5347)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50800) - you deserved it (4213)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (14396)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: