FMLs submitted from Groningen

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

by Sam / 04/01/2015 at 7:37am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Work

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

by Sebastian20 / 05/08/2013 at 7:05am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Kids

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

by Med / 11/13/2012 at 7:02am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Love

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

by insultedguy / 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

by Namnack / 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous