FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

by anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

by brazo667 / 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

by jamienicole1993 / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

by briang959 / 01/30/2015 at 6:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

by PO'd big bro / 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

by I warned him / 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

by thefatnurse / 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

by killme / 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

by stressed / 10/12/2014 at 2:40am / United States (Georgia) / Work