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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9794) - you deserved it (27971)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you deserved it (19449)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (1952)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (47265)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (6311)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10935) - you deserved it (36169)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

#19122555
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9914) - you deserved it (32913)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML

#19036366
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (6979)

On 02/09/2012 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by nosymptoms (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (6750)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (5390)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

#18823923
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15597) - you deserved it (36614)

On 01/16/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (2309)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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