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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (1325)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

#21445292
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (1935)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:58am - kids - by okay - United States (Georgia)

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

#21442921
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (3249)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:00am - intimacy - by battle1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

#21417890
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (2041)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by well then (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (2189)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36197) - you deserved it (2561)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (2083)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (8760)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (414) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

#21374802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129) - you deserved it (4211)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister and I went to visit my grandma. She looked at my sister and said, "You are just so skinny! You need to eat more cookies!" She then turned to me and said, "You should lay off the cookies!" FML



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