FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

by anonymouss / 09/21/2009 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was working drive thru and took a huge order. When the people pulled around to the window, they handed me a stack of coupons. None of the coupons were even related to what they ordered. They made me change their order to fit the coupons because they couldn't read. FML

by MEW / 09/20/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

by seminole711 / 09/20/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

by isuckatlyfe / 09/20/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML

by takingthebus / 09/16/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

by diplomaless / 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

by UnluckyArtist / 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

by babymomma / 09/14/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

by badhair / 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous