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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (2905)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (36462)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (2798)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (3571)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (18293)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

#12283970
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (51022)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43467) - you deserved it (5177)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

#12218347
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (5057)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by college kid - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

#12071239
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:06pm - health - by fiery (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28630) - you deserved it (7375)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32579) - you deserved it (7381)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)



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