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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (36850)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (2541)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, 'Great. Don't ruin it.' FML

#21333389
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2626)

On 01/08/2015 at 4:26pm - love - by loser - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30309) - you deserved it (2188)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (5963)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (4029)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (11093)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

#21322171
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/22/2014 at 4:36pm - work - by Mandy - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (4720)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (2417)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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