Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML

#21498342
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (1336)

On 11/29/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by AsshatUncle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML

#21497244
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (1395)

On 11/26/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by askprussia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

#21494906
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/20/2015 at 4:25pm - misc - by brokeasscollegelife (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

#21494871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (4796)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

#21493507
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/17/2015 at 5:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

#21491942
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/13/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by fryebaby623 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML

#21486285
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (2623)

On 10/30/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

#21484127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (29578)

On 10/25/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

#21483477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (2286)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm - misc - by haunted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML

#21482245
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (7493)

On 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm - love - by trekkiewife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

#21481447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

#21477505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: