FMLs submitted from Edinburgh

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Transportation

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

by shunned / 11/03/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy

Today, I checked my bank balance, to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in, and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So, being honest, I told my boss about this. Turns out, I wasn't overpaid by £500, I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. FML

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

by Cammy / 04/29/2009 at 3:19am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

by abi_vet_student / 02/13/2009 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Animals

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

by a268 / 02/02/2009 at 4:29am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Love

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

by IHateMyJob / 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Work