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FMLs submitted from Distrito Federal

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (10028)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39900) - you deserved it (8231)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (5372)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (2731)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (4351)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (1762)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (37766)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44735) - you deserved it (6142)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

#14881979
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5844) - you deserved it (41595)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

#13345862
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (21481)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

#12278054
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

#12088821
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (54531)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm - money - by onedollar (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)



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