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FMLs submitted from District of Columbia

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

#5669435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (5105)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53873) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42460) - you deserved it (4345)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28347) - you deserved it (93578)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

#4281912
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59755) - you deserved it (6259)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Michelle - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45231) - you deserved it (5743)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64985) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML

#3152991
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (49808)

On 06/23/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by cmac1229 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40184) - you deserved it (8962)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54827) - you deserved it (19343)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

#1649042
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45302) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my serious boyfriend was talking about how he wants to get engaged and married. I was really happy until he said he's excited mainly for the tax benefits. FML

#1493451
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51686) - you deserved it (4182)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)



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