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FMLs submitted from District of Columbia

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

#21490774
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/10/2015 at 10:17am - work - by YouBossturd (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

#21489514
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1359)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:14am - work - by apaterra - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

#21432306
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16192) - you deserved it (21572)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by AshWil - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you deserved it (3038)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (3580)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (3199)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

#21332250
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (4197)

On 01/06/2015 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

#21186073
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43999) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/24/2014 at 12:35am - love - by over prtective father (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4995)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38461) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52961) - you deserved it (6753)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)



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