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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

#21497654
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:46pm - love - by single and hatless (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML

#21489787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

#21465829
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2311)

On 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm - love - by SadBride (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (7252)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (4492)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (17062)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (13608)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47028) - you deserved it (11070)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (5247)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58634) - you deserved it (6760)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)



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