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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (4663)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (6065)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (7201)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (1697)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12332) - you deserved it (30485)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18813) - you deserved it (2332)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (2002)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (2288)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (33186)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19999) - you deserved it (40432)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43999) - you deserved it (3496)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)



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