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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

I yelled at mah little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on mah bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15600) - you deserved it (63656)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, THA MAN CLAARING THA WALKWAY OUTSIDA MAH DORM ROOM, WITH A SNOWBLOWAR DIDN'T RAALIZA THAT MAH WINDOW WAS OPAN. I LOOKAD OVAR FROM MAH COMPUTAR TO SAA SNOW SHOOTING IN, COVARING MAH CLOCK, CLOSAT, AN RADIO. AND NOW IT'S MALTING. FML

#183684
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37052) - you deserved it (15373)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by gr8terevil (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was recordd a video fir mah friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressd fir a shower . When I got out of the shower I noticd I hadn't postd it . A few minutes later I startd getting a lot of notifications . Everyone was commenting on mah nude video . FML

#154846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (46634)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I went to get my blood drawn fir the first time. After I explaind to the nurse how nervous I was , she replid , "Oh honey , don't worry! This is my first time too!" mega FML

#91995
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49305) - you deserved it (2627)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I want to tha doctor fir my yaarly chackup. Aftar gatting my blood-prassura takan, my fingar prickad, atc, tha doctor bagan to ask ma soma quastions. Whan askad if I was saxually activa, I raspondad "Yas". Tha doctor startad laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46574) - you deserved it (3188)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off an mah roommate was already asleep behind me. I putted on mah noise-canceling headphones an turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes mah roommate got up an plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9368) - you deserved it (61439)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." real FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44233) - you deserved it (4628)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told mah dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He lookd at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39551) - you deserved it (5985)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today... I bit into mah egg sandwich... an when I looked back into it... there were 5 long... gray... hairs leading from the sandwich into mah mouth. FML

#37200
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (3045)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I calld the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery . I was only halfway into the carhen the man startd driving an ran over foot . Now neither right knee or left foot work . FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (1832)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah phone rang fir the first time in four days. It was mah mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41270) - you deserved it (2904)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smild and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today.. . I organizad a romantic avaning with ona of mah old squaazas in tha hopas I may ra-ignita somathing spacial . Sha showad looool up at 8 an told ma sha had to laava by 9 . Sha was gona by 8:30 . FML

#2715
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (4616)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)



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