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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

#1353453
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57774) - you deserved it (12229)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (21271)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

#1288904
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (59976)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm - health - by JohnFarrell (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (57512)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML

#1183165
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

#1167512
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (11053)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Tor (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

#1054716
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (52060)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11785) - you deserved it (59628)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41997) - you deserved it (4967)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

#909263
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (59391)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

#830404
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (53553)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:14am - work - by singingseattlite (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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