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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I Did My Laundry. When I Took It Out, Everything Was Clean, Including The Mouse That Had Been Hiding In It. FML

#9157447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing mah hair, doing mah make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8262) - you deserved it (33199)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , Mah Boyfriend And I Were Having Sex , When He Finished , Seemingly Angry. He Stood There Naked Complaining 4 15 Minutes About How Our Sex Sucked. Then He Demanded That I Dress Him Because "it's Mah Fault His Clothes Were Off In The First Place". FML

#8980623
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (5036)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after taking mah grlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for ( hot coffee an dessert ). Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee an dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9230) - you deserved it (61636)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today while shopping with my mother she handd me a frozen turkey to puttd in the cart but endd up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant batterd eggplant and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (2974)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

2day ma boyfriend of six monts dumpd me for is girlfriend on Grand Teft Auto cuz e was "tird of aving to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (3625)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today... we ad our friends over for dinner... one ofom is a psyciatrist. After a looool few drinks... my drunk wife and te equally drunk psyciatrist began to analyze my various caracter flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (2532)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach askd me how my knee was. When I liftd my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (8113)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend was sowing me pictures of er and er family. I told er to stop at one of te pictures. I startd lauging my back off and said tat se lookd grotesque. Se askd me if I was serious, I swore tat I was. It was actually a picture of er sister,o did 1 year ago. FML

#7768128
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (45735)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (38360)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game an I looool asked her if she could go back in history an meet anyoneho would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (41875)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I Found Out Wat I Look Lyk Drunk An Nakd While Swinging A Tennis Racket Thanks To A Picture Message Forwardd To Just About Everyone I Know An Some I Don't. Among The Numbers The Text Was Sent To Was A Familiar One. My Mom's. FML



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