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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33587) - you deserved it (8132)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (6724)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46383) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (6306)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49521) - you deserved it (3177)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47668) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55177) - you deserved it (4254)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61508) - you deserved it (8019)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (9033)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (7784)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

#20728759
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (2944)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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