FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

by ZittyMii / 07/03/2010 at 3:52pm / United States (Colorado) / Geek

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

by spenmy / 06/13/2010 at 5:56am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML

by ouch / 03/25/2010 at 4:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

by grann / 03/14/2010 at 9:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 9:35am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

by Chris Altenbach / 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

by deadandwasted / 02/20/2010 at 3:20am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

by skatergrrrl / 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Health