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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today... it's mah brthday... and apparently mah family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in mah new shoes I bought 4 myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29298) - you deserved it (1999)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday... I called mah boyfriend upset because mah best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was... "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29744) - you deserved it (7959)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-temperd emotional train wreck. He then said, ( You know how we talkd about getting marrid? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over. ) He smild, gave me a kiss, and went to bd. FML

#6738279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (5926)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today Mah Boyfriend And I Were Laying In His Bed. I Was Watching The Terminator On T.V. A Commercial Came On In The Middle Of The Movie. We Just Started Having Sex When The Movie Came Back On He Said ( I'll Be Back. ) In The Arnold Schwartzenegger Accent And Rolled Over To Watch The Movie. FML

#6705813
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18738) - you deserved it (4059)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I really wanted something to drink . I looked in the fridge, an found some of my looool grandma's soy milk . I decide to take a swig, an instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken . Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk an decided to swap it with expired chicken broth . FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8564) - you deserved it (36286)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday , I found out ma diet and exercise plan wasn't nerely as effective wen it comes to weigt loss as I ad originally tougt!! It turns out wat really accounts 4 all te weigt I've been loosing is tape worms!! FML

#6630317
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Taday daugter's guinea pig got stuck beind te wardrobe squeaking its ead off . I trid pulling te wardrobe toward me to free im but couldn't take te weigt of it all so it fell over smasing te TV . Te guinea pig is fine . fat FML

#6568634
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (6762)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY,ILE FLYING ON AMERICAN AIRLINES BACK FROM VISITING FAMILY, A NEW BORN PUKED ITS BREAKFAST ALL OVER HP MINI, KNOCKED ORANGE JUICE INO LAP, AN TAN COUGED UP ANOTER LAYER ON TOP OF IT ALL . I COULDN'T CANGE PANTS BECAUSE OF WE WERE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE TURBULANCE . FML

#6527445
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and looool dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

#6337523
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7472) - you deserved it (43482)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by JakeHolmes (man) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, I HAD A SURPRISE BRTHDAY PARTY THROWN IN MAH HONOR. ALL OF MAH FRIENDS AND FAMILY HAD BEEN INVITED, AND ALL OF THE DETAILS WERE PERFECT. WHO THREW THE PARTY 4 ME? MY EX-GRLFRIEND WHO I DUMPED LAST WEEK 4 ( NOT BEING THOUGHTFUL ENOUGH. ) FML

#6333617
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7215) - you deserved it (51700)

On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to looool mah apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into mah window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (1675)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking to tha parking lot from classhila taxting. Whan I lookad up as I approachad mah parking spot, I noticad tha words "F*ck you Dava" kayad into mah car. Hi, mah nama is Clara. Who's Dava? FML

#6283457
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (1860)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, I GOT TO WORK IN THE ER AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL. A LADY CAME IN WITH HIGH BLOOD SUGAR. SHE WAS CONCERNED BECAUSE THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HER HUSBAND. I REASSURED HER, TELLING HER SHE'LL BE BACK WITH HER HUSBAND IN AN HOUR OR SO. HER HUSBAND DIED FOUR YEARS AGO FROM SOMETHING SIMILAR. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (6786)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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