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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (8367)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

#5841852
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6172) - you deserved it (51637)

On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

#5764278
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (7654)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (7415)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

#5644801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (12078)

On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML

#5519690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by alliobamy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

#5498467
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (9380)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by PigPen (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

#5319386
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (1528)

On 09/17/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by mmv - United States (Colorado)

Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML

#5193582
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42378) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by Thistle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

#5163581
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (3916)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by tawnaciousd - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

#5076564
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (3370)

On 09/06/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by Forgotten (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

#5052603
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7032) - you deserved it (53417)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:23am - love - by tryfailtryget11 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML

#4892263
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4104)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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