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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today , I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missd the bus , waitd half an hour 4 the second , and arrivd just in time to hear the policemen say , "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

#15035119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (7299)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by inthecold (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the vending machine, putted in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. mega FML

#15006025
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (9135)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Went To A Restaurant With Mah Boyfriend. Within Seconds Of Getting Mah Drink, I Spilled It All Over The Table And Mah Scarf. When The Waiter Was Helping Clean Up The Spill, He Knocked Over Mah Boyfriend's Drink. All Over Mah Pants. FML

#14999054
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (4486)

On 02/16/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Tori (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I hava anough driving skill to managa to hit a pothola and hava two of my tiras go flat. FML

#14954062
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (16486)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

TODAY , I WAS GIVEN THE ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM: EITHER I SUFFER EXCRUCIATING STOMACH PAINS AND REMAIN A HOSTAGE TO THE PORCELAIN WHIRLPOOL GODDESS , OR I STOP TAKING PAIN MEDICATION AND FACE THE WRATH OF A RAGING INFECTION IN MAH JAW. FML

#14743566
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today... I finally felt well enoug to take an actual sower after aving surgery on ma back. It took five minutes to stand up... ten minutes to get to te sower... and anoter ten minutes to get in. Te pilot ligt went out in less tan five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (2066)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, WHILE AT THE URINAL DOING MY BUSINESS, MY TROUSERS FELL ALL THE WAY TO THE GROUND. AS I BENT DOWN TO PULL THEM BACK UP, MY BOSS WALKED IN THE BATHROOM AND THOUGHT I WAS MOONING HIM. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Taday I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just cummed on. FML

#14574374
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (3019)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today... a thumb tack came out of one of mah posters on mah wall. The sole of mah foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

TODAY... I WAS IN THE BATHROOM IN A RUSH TO GET READY. WITHOUT THINKING... I PUT HAND SOAP ON MAH TOOTHBRUSH. I DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL IT WAS ALREADY IN MAH MOUTH. FML

#14214762
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9890) - you deserved it (23743)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:32pm - health - by captfml (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday, I was in a public restroom taking a dump . It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud . And that I wasn't alone . FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15229) - you deserved it (28193)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah ex-girlfriend,ho is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with mah mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling mah little sister about our love life.

#14185892
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (4850)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Taday my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd... I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her... an I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)



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