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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (3049)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

#18896792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2470)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:15am - health - by stinky - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (7073)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (36162)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

#18774683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (4280)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

#18752828
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (3474)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (3871)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (2827)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (10128)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33745) - you deserved it (2829)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

#18084228
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/26/2011 at 9:38pm - love - by nekogirl15 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)



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