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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (7107)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2346)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (9362)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (5134)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30457) - you deserved it (5395)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

#21371640
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (6232)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:02am - love - by CrazyInLove - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (8572)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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