Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Cardiff

Yesterday, during a meal out with mah team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complaind, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposd to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as mah colleague lookd on. FML

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (25256)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was trying to convince mah flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten!! After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stard at me and said, "You really ned a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15806) - you deserved it (19852)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, Mah Wife Allowed Mah Mother-in-law To Move In With Us!! She Believe The Government Spies On Her In The Shower, And That The Prime Minister Is A Shape-shifting Lizardho Wants To Microchip Us All!! I Have To Live With This Psychotic Wench Until Someone Is Desperate Enough To Employ Her!! FML

#19662623
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (2298)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Yesterday, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me 4 another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (2639)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new grlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

#12682648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (3097)

On 08/22/2010 at 1:02pm - love - by mollyeyers - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I found out that mah boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls u to his office, then leaves u waiting outside until u get annoyed an leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML

#5276365
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45659) - you deserved it (10176)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: