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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27556) - you deserved it (4936)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (1626)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3099)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

#21411433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2668)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by creepedoutmom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (2510)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (2907)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (10842)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (1997)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (2145)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (7107)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)



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