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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

#21509521
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (8203)

On 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by hakuna_matata (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview. I was asked what my dream job would be. I blurted out, "The president, because I think it's a very cool and important job." I don't think I'm getting this one. FML

#21509296
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (4733)

On 12/30/2015 at 4:07am - work - by good job brain - United States (California)

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

#21509168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (1497)

On 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (1265)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

#21508974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1705)

On 12/29/2015 at 4:49am - misc - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

#21508755
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (1458)

On 12/28/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by FMeRight? - United States (California)

Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid blow job. FML

#21508603
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/28/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - United States (California)

Today, while I was fitting an elderly gentleman for a suit, he muttered all too loudly that he'd give his left nut for a reacharound. FML

#21507671
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (1311)

On 12/25/2015 at 12:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

#21506853
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (1745)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:15am - animals - by ChaoticGamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

#21506801
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/23/2015 at 4:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

#21506326
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21362) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:52pm - money - by noononononono - United States (California)

Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML

#21506292
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17775) - you deserved it (1660)

On 12/21/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by letstradefamilies - United States (California)



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