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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

#21513478
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/10/2016 at 5:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I waited patiently in the airport as my flight was repeatedly delayed. After 5 long hours I approached one of the attendees to discover that the plane had left 5 minutes ago. FML

#21513287
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/09/2016 at 6:19pm - misc - by whenlifeisalemon - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

#21513021
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (1571)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:09pm - misc - by familypet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried really hard for once on an assignment. I was told it was my worst work yet and that I may as well have turned nothing in at all. FML

#21512817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (2076)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by i tried so hard - United States (California)

Today, it's day three of our power being off because of a glitch in the power company's computer system. They won't turn it back on until we pay the $2000 we owe from 2010. We moved here in 2012. FML

#21512601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (1179)

On 01/07/2016 at 6:04pm - misc - by its dark - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

#21512272
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (1958)

On 01/06/2016 at 8:55pm - work - by seeking new employment (woman) - United States (California)

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (1237)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

#21512014
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (1982)

On 01/06/2016 at 1:54am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (1869)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

#21511386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

#21511250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (2268)

On 01/04/2016 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

#21511005
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (16153)

On 01/03/2016 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Oops - United States (California)

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

#21510579
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (7677)

On 01/02/2016 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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