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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

#21515773
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (1142)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14323) - you deserved it (26349)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

#21515709
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm - love - by Gamergirl137 - United States (California)

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

#21515416
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (1928)

On 01/14/2016 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML

#21514601
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18512) - you deserved it (1470)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML

#21514245
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/12/2016 at 8:24am - work - by Talis (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

#21514057
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (1207)

On 01/11/2016 at 6:15pm - work - by DookDaSpook (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

#21514032
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (1300)

On 01/11/2016 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

#21513478
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/10/2016 at 5:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I waited patiently in the airport as my flight was repeatedly delayed. After 5 long hours I approached one of the attendees to discover that the plane had left 5 minutes ago. FML

#21513287
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22133) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/09/2016 at 6:19pm - misc - by whenlifeisalemon - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

#21513021
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (1571)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:09pm - misc - by familypet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried really hard for once on an assignment. I was told it was my worst work yet and that I may as well have turned nothing in at all. FML

#21512817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by i tried so hard - United States (California)



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