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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6280) - you deserved it (25075)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (913)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19738) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

#3779
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (35694)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by teeth - United States (California)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19204) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (5653)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8199) - you deserved it (31192)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you deserved it (1617)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (4705)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

#3037
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17996) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (35586)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

#2823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5104) - you deserved it (32982)

On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)



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