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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (28884)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (1648)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4809) - you deserved it (26691)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13638) - you deserved it (42207)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (23454)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (9162)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

#5588
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41274) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by Rachel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (1922)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)



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