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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9020) - you deserved it (37712)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (23697)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (14630)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (7486)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23972) - you deserved it (49705)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9063) - you deserved it (35570)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213674) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (7356)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (49182)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (63827)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML

#52066
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (61229)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:01am - misc - by bready (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (129445)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)



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