FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

by weirdo / 02/21/2010 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

by emih / 02/21/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

by beezybees / 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

by ohemgee23 / 02/19/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

by Dumped / 02/18/2010 at 3:58am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

by thatssickkk / 02/17/2010 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

by amireallyloved / 02/17/2010 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

by soomeone / 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

by tacolove69 / 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2010 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

by Abandoned / 02/15/2010 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

by shininghayley / 02/15/2010 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Love