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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52481) - you deserved it (16910)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (29600)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (44980)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

#225762
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110243) - you deserved it (4901)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (42928)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

#218280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59714) - you deserved it (4041)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

#217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (13701)

On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (10931)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67310) - you deserved it (2728)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219062) - you deserved it (28170)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

#204455
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (12852)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

#204015
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (3979)

On 03/04/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by AznKoreanGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (79889)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)



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