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FMLs submitted from California

Today, one of my bosses came into work and told me that they had seen my dad's twin in the supermarket holding hands and kissing a much younger woman and her baby. My dad doesn't have a twin. FML

#3624810
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (2128)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by tor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55806) - you deserved it (2920)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

#3602722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59701) - you deserved it (4429)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (53191)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

#3591095
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51295) - you deserved it (8180)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

#3570179
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84128) - you deserved it (7649)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Applelover012 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52130) - you deserved it (8234)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53779) - you deserved it (12811)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (76340)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51164) - you deserved it (30964)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12020) - you deserved it (64790)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

#3498415
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (2604)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53811) - you deserved it (9727)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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