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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while working at a wedding reception, I caught a couple getting touchy in the back of the room, but I swept it under the rug. Apparently, they didn't like getting caught, and reported me to my boss, claiming sexual harassment. I now have to attend social sensitivity training once a week. FML

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

#21465068
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (1990)

On 09/06/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

#21465043
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (3126)

On 09/05/2015 at 11:11pm - misc - by _guy_j (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

#21464906
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (7659)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by ManderDander (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML

#21464765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (9364)

On 09/05/2015 at 1:56am - animals - by I'm a pussy, yeah yeah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

#21464726
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (1862)

On 09/04/2015 at 11:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

#21464590
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (1501)

On 09/04/2015 at 5:56pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

#21464524
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23252) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/04/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by siddance - United States (California)

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

#21464501
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

#21464468
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:30am - misc - by fuckyoudeadgunnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML

#21464364
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2109)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:40am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (1710)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (1628)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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