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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

#5914745
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12481) - you deserved it (74308)

On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

#5891764
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (5493)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:40am - animals - by JC - United States (California)

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (2213)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (2001)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (7978)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

#5851329
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (1887)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - work - by devakii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (2622)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

#5847972
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (7479)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Unlucky. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

#5839185
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (4760)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40465) - you deserved it (5118)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

#5826147
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26809) - you deserved it (3980)

On 10/14/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by mybmw (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished moving to my new apartment that is 45 minutes away from my old one because my workplace would be closer. I then get a phone call from my boss telling me that he will transfer me to another workplace (closer to my old apartment). FML

#5815195
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/13/2009 at 12:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (11246)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)



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