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FMLs submitted from California

Today, was mah first day at mah new job in a shop. 10 minute after mah first customer leave I realize she managd to steal $200 worth of merchandisehile she had me getting stuff fir her from looool the back room. FML

#5489244
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (7242)

On 09/26/2009 at 5:23pm - work - by bzygirl (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, MY FOOTBALL TEAM PLAYED IN A GAME AGAINST OUR RIVAL SCHOOL THAT WAS JUST A FEW BLOCKS AWAY. WE HADN'T LOST THE GAME IN EXACTLY 49 YEARS, WE WERE PLAYING FIR THE 50TH YEAR WIN. WE LOST 63-0, AND GOT BOOED OFF THE FIELD BY OUR OWN CROWD. FML

#5478797
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19050) - you deserved it (34979)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise mah husband in the shower!! I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out mah chest and sucked in mah stomach bieng stupid and mah husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how u looked when I frst met you." real FML

#5461426
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36518) - you deserved it (11040)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I fell off mah desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around mah room fir the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (28988)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary!! My usband takes me and our young son to a family-style cain restaurant!! Hoping for a little romance, I ask im wat e's excited about in our future, and e says ow we souldn't eat out like tis anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes!!

#5453638
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today I was planning on breaking up with girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said "I'd die without you." FML

#5441571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36125) - you deserved it (12338)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah navy boyfriend,ho's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After sereching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (2871)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I was going to take mah boyfriend to Napa. It's mah brthday an I wanted to do something big since last year mah fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" mah ex. This makes two consecutive brthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. real FML

#5413362
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (5507)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in mah 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told mah parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age mah parent caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed mah laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (8850)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

2DAY MA GRANDMA WASN'T FEELING WELL, SO I WENT TO ER OUSE TO CECK ON ER . AFTER ABOUT 20 MINS, I KNEW SE WAS FEELING BETTER WEN SE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "SO DO YOU AVE A BOYFRIEND YET? I PRAY EVERYNIGT TAT I GET TO LIVE LONG ENOUG TO SEE YOU WIT A BOYFRIEND." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35570) - you deserved it (3728)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS IN A DEPARTMENT STORE WITH MY THREE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO BUY SOME NEW JEANS. I TOOK HER INTO THE DRESSING ROOM WITH ME AND AS I BEGAN TO TAKE OFF MY PANTS SHE YELLS, "MOMMY, YOU CAN'T GO PEEPEE IN HERE!!" I AM NO LONGER WELCOME IN THAT PARTICULAR STORE. FML

#5364487
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36820) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , after bieng a stay-at-ome mom an picking up after my kids 4 te past 15 years , I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualifid. It was a ousekeeping position. FML

#5354989
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37066) - you deserved it (3847)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by HousekeeperNoMore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is my wedding day . I couldn't fine my very expensive wedding dress anywhere . After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch."

#5354968
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71581) - you deserved it (3756)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)



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