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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10491) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15640) - you deserved it (21446)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML

#6706236
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13969) - you deserved it (21368)

On 12/11/2009 at 6:11am - misc - by LostFocus - United States (California)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (33387)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

#6688829
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (2550)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Melinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8653) - you deserved it (36642)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7929) - you deserved it (68540)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15723) - you deserved it (43972)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (4200)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9281) - you deserved it (38793)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40332) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

#6626957
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (6576)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:25am - love - by barfyshirt (woman) - United States (California)



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