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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (7061)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

#6474495
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (5101)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:09am - love - by Duped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36975) - you deserved it (4499)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (35259)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (24043)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (6010)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (5149)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19104) - you deserved it (8303)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (4816)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

#6416046
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (2535)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:09am - love - by apparentlyhesbusy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13806) - you deserved it (36074)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (5288)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)



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