FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

by Winchesterlover / 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

by Screwed in Seattle / 02/05/2011 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

by Youdontneed2knowmyname / 02/05/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

by ad4 / 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

by mentallyscarred / 01/31/2011 at 4:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

by freckleboy422 / 01/31/2011 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

by Joey / 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

by unlucky dudebag / 01/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

by WronglySad619 / 01/26/2011 at 5:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

by SLOMan90 / 01/26/2011 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

by Randall / 01/25/2011 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health