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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (42431)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63021) - you deserved it (37025)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

#3199012
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (45295)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Noj12345 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

#3165947
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (46938)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

#3153262
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49537) - you deserved it (12266)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by nicklesg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

#3096016
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (12778)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72148) - you deserved it (4245)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

#3083208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (4722)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:09am - money - by myheadhurts (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (20751)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

#3069327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52865) - you deserved it (1940)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (1793)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

#3040263
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (1991)

On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)



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