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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (4126)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (9504)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (4412)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML

#21337414
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/15/2015 at 2:28am - health - by twoface_chick - United States (California)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (7102)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

#21335669
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:36am - work - by Tired - United States (California)

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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