Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (2127)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (4615)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (4098)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (3376)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (2533)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2936)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

#21378889
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128) - you deserved it (45455)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML

#21376924
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (40)

On 03/18/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by Speechless - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: