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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2050)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2228)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (31716)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (16233)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you deserved it (2208)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (14677)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (2122)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

#21387046
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (2247)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by glocked and goaded (woman) - United States (California)



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