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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

#21519030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (1407)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:04pm - misc - by helloimkylieee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (5366)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

#21518464
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (1489)

On 01/23/2016 at 5:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

#21518238
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/22/2016 at 4:28pm - love - by OhNo - United States (California)

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, I found out that the huge project I've been working on for the past week is actually a group project. Everyone in my group knew. They were just letting me do the entire thing by myself because I'm "smart". FML

#21517916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/21/2016 at 7:02pm - work - by AkiAnime - United States (California)

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

#21517333
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19441) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

#21517065
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (5676)

On 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by xsnqw - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he sat up and said, "You're still here?" FML

#21517022
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (8288)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by clostar - United States (California)

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

#21516742
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17960) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

#21516655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (1107)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm - misc - by Well, shit - United States (California)

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

#21516140
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/17/2016 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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