FMLs submitted from California

Today, a customer asked for my manager's number, my bosses number, corporate's number and filled out a complaint form, all because we kindly asked him not to sit his kid on the counter due to safety concerns. FML

by jaa319 / 10/30/2016 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got yelled at by a man for not opening my store 10-15 minutes before the scheduled opening time, which made his 84-year-old wife shit her pants waiting to get in. It didn't matter when I explained I had no way to know she needed to use the restroom. FML

by mandosfriend / 10/23/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

by Neckbruise101 / 10/15/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

by KillerChipmunk / 10/10/2016 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

by Well okay then / 10/09/2016 at 1:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker asked me how I was because I looked down. I said, "You don't want to know." They replied, "You're right, I don't," and walked off. FML

by makayta / 10/08/2016 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after I got the birth control implant, waited a week like my doctor told me, my fiancee is still too scared that I'll get pregnant. It's been 2 months. FML

by RjsBabe / 10/01/2016 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

by Female / 09/28/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

by Malcolm654 / 09/28/2016 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML

by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, two months into my new marketing job, I presented my first webinar live to over 300 people. Half the audience complained about the horrible sound quality, saying all they could hear was a Mickey Mouse squeaky sound. Turns out it wasn't the sound quality, it was my voice. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work