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FMLs submitted from California

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (3120)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (2330)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (2674)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (10771)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (1987)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (6739)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (2106)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

#21406019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (4827)

On 05/07/2015 at 1:12am - work - by CASH_NoMOMEY - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (3154)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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