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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6462) - you deserved it (2134)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (2754)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (1537)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (3009)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (2921)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2028)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2213)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16406) - you deserved it (30927)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (15839)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (2203)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML



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