Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (7298)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47216) - you deserved it (4699)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44985) - you deserved it (5450)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36972) - you deserved it (12409)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48791) - you deserved it (4269)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

#21151195
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (7094)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm - health - by 5p4571k (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (7005)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40466) - you deserved it (3672)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: