FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

by driver26 / 12/14/2010 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

by immunizations / 12/11/2010 at 2:40am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

by fmylife. / 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

by The Christmas Grinch / 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 2:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

by noname / 11/07/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

by werewolfoflondon / 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 12:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

by anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 4:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally admitted to two girls in my first year university astronomy class that I have a strict 10pm bedtime. FML

by pathetic_girl / 10/14/2010 at 10:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous