FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 1:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

by padthaimeanoose / 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

by quiet_screaming_ / 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

by hobo / 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

by notmysistersbf / 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

by apparently_disabled / 04/17/2015 at 2:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

by topaz23 / 04/16/2015 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

by Heart-Broken / 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love