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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (7427)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (5780)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6331) - you deserved it (35766)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

#14754887
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

#14732646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (6307)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:15pm - love - by shouldveknown (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (57131)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (4296)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (6445)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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