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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (5165)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (5567)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18612) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

#18922456
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6684) - you deserved it (60596)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:48am - health - by batsu (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (3811)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (36487)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38485) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (6140)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (46787)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

#18595788
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by treeless - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (6376)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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